Spring is in the air

The sun is shining brightly this morning. We are all tired of winter weather, hats, coats, gloves, and messing footprints on the floor. We yearn to open the windows wide and let in the fresh air. Seasonal changes is one reason I like living in the mid-west. When I get weary of one set of challenges that comes with monotonous weather--it will change.

Parenting tip of the day:

How much "praise" is too much?

Here are some of my thoughts on "praising" your child:

• Make praise genuine and appropriate. Flowery, "over the top" praise sounds insincere even to a 3 year old after a while.
• Use language that is meaningful and that fits the situation--not everything that your child does is "great" or "fantastic"--face it, eating lunch or putting toys away is what is expected--not "fabulous" or "terrific"--soon these "over used" words will loose all meaning--and most importantly--they will loose their effectiveness.
• Consider using a phrase such as this: You eat your breakfast now you have lots of energy to play--so let's clean up and you can play with your trains now."
• Should we be "conditioning" our children to "need" or "want" praise for every little thing he/she does all day.
• Praise as much as you can maintain--we all get weary of saying the same thing--children get weary of hearing the same thing over and over--therefore it looses effectiveness. Saying "great job" 45 times a day may make that phrase somewhat useless.
• Use statements of fact such as, "You put the blocks in the basket they look nice and neat." give a smile and that's all.
• None verbal positive interaction with your child is a powerful tool. I worked with a school psychologist that suggested a goal of 10 positive interactions for every one request that required cooperation. The positive interactions could be very simple, such as a touch on the back or head--a thumbs up sign, eye contact and a smile, lots of nonverbal positive interaction make our words mean more when we do use them--and not "over use" them.

I hope some of these "tips" make sense and are useful parenting tools. Good parenting is a wonderful gift we give to our children and to society--it really is, "the most important job" you will ever have.

Have a wonderful day--think good thoughts!

MissT

Kick some you know what!

Thought for the Day:
Take the opportunities that life gives you and Kick a Little, you know what once in a while!

Now!
Let me explain myself. I mean, do your best and do not be afraid of people knowing how good you are at something. I do not mean, get in their face and show off about your abilities--but in your private moments, with yourself, say, "I really kicked some ________ today. I did well; I was glorious; I was awesome; etc... Then, accept some praise in your usual humble way.

I get frustrated when someone I praise finds it hard to accept my acclamations. Really, when you think about it, not graciously accepting praise that is given in a thoughtful manner is a little rude. I am not talking about the easy and often too frequent ones like, 'you look great today' or, 'where did you get those neat shoes', but the real nice compliments about something you put a lot of effort into, like, 'that was a wonderful Thanksgiving meal' or 'I enjoyed your presentation', or 'Wow, what you said really made sense to me'. I feel it is respectful to yourself and to the compliment giver to graciously accept that kind of praise or compliment.

So, go be great and when someone can tell [and hopefully someone will, even if that person is yourself] accept the praise and say, "Thank you, you are so kind".

Take care,
MissT