Giving Excuses

You may be wound too tight if you---

---need to give an excuse, when no thank you, will do--with out the "explanation".

Think about that for a minute. I often feel the need to "explain" myself when someone asks me to do something. My husband on the other hand is very good at saying "no thanks" without feeling bad, or making the person feel bad.

I need to learn to be better at saying, "yes, I'd love to", when I want to say yes and, "no, thank you", when I want to say no. I don't know if this is true, but a lot of my women friends have a much harder time with this than the men I know. We tend to be nurturing and like to give of ourselves, sometimes at the expense of what we want, and need, for ourselves. Or at least that is true for me.

I am actively trying to recognize times I am about to overcommit myself and re-think the decision. What comes naturally to my husband is a hard lesson for me to learn--but it is something I can and will work on. Overcommitting myself is really not fair to anyone. I end up being exhausted and unable to do the things that make life enjoyable for myself and my loved ones. So, I have some work to do. I think I am getting better--admitting and recognizing a problem is the first step in making a change. I am changing my thoughts in order to change my actions. This thinking alines with the Tao. A balanced life if what I want for myself.

Montessori

Giving excuses in my work is really not a good idea. When a teacher gives the children a lot of wordy explanations that come across as excuses it becomes a drag on the spirt of the classroom. Parent tire very quickly with what seems to be a teacher/school/administration that gives excuses. Making excuses is a very bad idea. If you find yourself doing it, examine what is causing this trend and take steps to stop, or at least curtail the behavior greatly.

Parents and children want us to be confident (but not cocky), clear (but not ridged), organized (but not OCD) and honest about what we can do. In other words, they want us to be balanced and believe in what we are doing so much that excuses and overly involved explanations will not be necessary.