Welcome Autumn--Change

It is a hot and humid day today where I live. A reminder that hot weather at the end of August is not unusual.

I think a day like this just makes us appreciate cool fall days even more.

Autumn is such a beautiful season. I am a big fan of fall colors, sweater weather, and sitting around a fire while gazing at stars.

I welcome the changing seasons. It would be difficult for me to live where the weather is the same all the time. I am always ready for change and enjoy seeing the life cycle of plants unfold before my eyes. It helps me feel connected to nature.

Being resistant to change must be a burden. Change is going to happen, it is inevitable. If we welcome change it is easier to live with. If we resist change we will be unhappy for sure.

Change is a part of our human condition. Nothing stays the same for long. We grow older and hopefully wiser as time goes by. Our roles in life change. We go from being parents of young children to parents of adults all too quickly. We my be caring for an elderly parent or be living without their guidance.

Change is going to happen so it is best to welcome it—not resist it. The only constant thing is change. We can count on that.

Montessori

Children like routine, order, consistency, and predictability. Change can be problematic when working in a Montessori environment. But as stated above, change is unavoidable even in the most well run school and experienced teachers.

Children are quick to notice small changes and inconsistencies in the classroom. They are generally quick to point out when a shelf has been moved or some work is in a different place. Too many changes in a short time can bother the students. It is also true that being too ridged will not be good for the classroom dynamics. Once again we are called to strike a good balance of a certain amount of constancy and enough change to keep things interesting and fresh.

We can help children accept change by modeling accepting behavior and language with the children. Although routine is important in the beginning of the year, as the school year progresses we need to do things out of order once in a while. These small changes can help children become tolerant of bigger changes down the road.

Changing work on the shelf regularly will keep the children interested in coming to school and doing new things. If a work is gathering dust—put it away and try something different.

Bad News

What do you do when bad news is given to you?

I like to "talk it out" with a close friend or family member.

I process better--out loud, I guess.

Bad news can come in lots of forms. It can be about yourself--a friend--your child--or spouse. It is never easy to get bad news. The person delivering the news is often hurting themselves, so I often try to push back my own feelings and deal with their sadness or pain.

It is good to step back and "look" at the situation when bad news is around. Sometimes I think that I just can not "handle" taking it in all at once. When we step back we gain perspective. That can be a very valuable thing to have is a stressful situation.

I always wonder what people without a good support system do with bad news. It must be awful to deal with overwhelming things by yourself. It is at times like this when I am made acutely aware of how truly luck I am to have a supportive husband, loving children, family and friends to lean on for comfort.

I wish for each of you reading this--good health--good relationships--and good memories.

Montessori

'Bad News' can come in many forms in a Montessori classroom. It can be anything from a tussle on the playground to the death of a grandparent. We must be ready to deal with the small pitfalls and the big, life changing events as well.

What can prepare us as Montessorians to deal with small and big tragedies? Well, it is as hard and as simple as this---have a good heart and you will know what to do. Sometimes it will be in the form of a hug--or a sympathetic ear--or an understanding attitude. We are called to be understanding and loving adults in the lives of the children entrusted to us. This is not hard--but it does tend to be heart breaking on occasion.

The rewards are many thought. To help a child deal with pain at an early age is to help that child deal with pain for a life time. If we teachers can remember that--it looks like a great opportunity to do well.

Expecting More From Yourself--OWN IT ALL

Reach for the stars--Be all that you can be--excellence in the workplace--don't settle for second best--Go for Gold

We have heard these catch phases all our lives. It could have been in a graduation speech, while being recruited to serve in the military, at a professional inservice, teacher workshop, or from a parent of grandparent.

I like to be reminded to reach higher and be better. It is particularly impressing to me when I am inspired out of the blue--when I am not expecting to be inspired. This unexpected life lesson can come as a 'side effect' or 'fringe benefit' of some other event. I love when that happens. Out of something that could be mundane and ordinary comes inspiration. What a great world we live in.

This is an example of inspiration for me--I go here expecting to be inspired:

I follow a BLOG of a young math teacher called--Love Your Life--what a great message that is. I enjoy reading it because she makes me proud to be a teacher. She is so much more than a Math Teacher--she gets it. She gets that part of her job is to inspire children to reach higher and be better--in math of course, but in life as well.

This is an example of inspiration in an unexpected place:

I love to go to an area of Omaha called the Old Market. We have a collection of unique shops and restaurants down there, surrounded by old buildings, cobble stone streets, street performers, and a wonderful collection of humanity. I go there to get away from day to day life in the 'suburbs'.

Yesterday I drove down there after attending a very inspirational teacher workshop. I was excited and full of hope for my chosen profession. I wanted to be around people instead of going home and being in my house alone for several hours.

I had no real plan, so I parked and start walking. After an hour in a coffee shop I went 'window' shopping. The 'shop manager' I met was a young lady in her 20's I would guess, we had an amazing conversation about life. It really was enjoyable. I am inspired that there are 'people out there' willing to strike up a conversation like that with a total stranger. It makes me feel better; it makes me feel connected to people; it makes me feel like I can be part of something exciting and big. In a word, INSPIRED.

Go got inspired--let yourself be inspired when you least expect it--it is a wonderful feeling.

Montessori

As I mentioned, attended an inservice this morning. It made me happy, proud and inspired. I am glad to be part of a profession that encourages me to not settle for mediocrity. The speaker was truly 'on fire' about Montessori Education. I literally got goosebumps several times when she spoke about projects she does with her three to six year old students.

It is easy to see the negative and wonder--why do I do this? But today I know. The topic of her workshop was Parent Communication. She covered the material very well. She was organized, confident, and had a slick powerpoint presentation to illuminate each point. I carefully followed the topic, took notes on my computer, and followed her line of thought without any gaps. But, I came away with so much more than three pages worth of typed notes on how to communicate with the parents of students in my schools.

I came away empowered to reach higher, be better, and see myself as part of the solution to what is "wrong" with education these days. It is easy to sit and say--'if the administration, or parents, or fellow teachers, would just listen to me--education would improve'. She challenged us to see ourselves as part of the problem. That is, to see where we play a roll. To 'own' our part of the problem, she said, must come before a, LASTING SOLUTION can take place. I love that--we all need to see how we contribute to the PROBLEM--in order to SEE solutions.

I will give example of the 'wrong' way of thinking about a problem with Parent Communication, then turn it around and to see a 'right' way of thinking.

Wrong thinking would go something like this:

"The parents just don't care enough to read the notes, newsletters, and handbooks, that we send home. There is just so much a teacher or school administration can do. What's the use!"--frustration

Right way of thinking would go something like this:

"We know these parents care, they cared enough to enroll their child in this wonderful Montessori School, so how can we present the information in a more user friendly way so that parents will have the information we know is important. How can we work together to give the best education possible to these children.

I hope something inspires you today!

Children are People Too

You might be wound too tight if you---

--you cringe when you see a child get on the plane--

I have been on both sides of this particular issue. We began traveling with our children from infancy. I have been on an airplane with unruly children. Well, children are people too and they need to get from place to place like the rest of us. On the other hand, parents have a responsibility to be prepared, and do their best to make the trip as pleasant for their child, and their fellow travelers.

Thinking back to the travels with my children, some 25 years ago, I do not recall the trips being very stressful for us or for the other passengers. My husband and I were well prepared for travel. The children had activities, snacks, gum, etc...to make the "down time" go by as quietly and enjoyably as possible. I am not looking for 'parent of the year' award. We just did the responsible thing all parents should do.

Our children went to restaurants, attended church, toured museums, and visited friends' homes. For the most part, they were well behaved; at least, we never got kicked out of a public place, and we were often invited back to friends' homes. If anything, the world is more child friendly now than it was 20 years ago. We didn't have those changing tables in public bathrooms, toys and computers in the children's area of the library, and fancy restaurants did not cater to children with highchairs.

I am all for being child friendly, look at my chosen profession. I am also a big fan of responsible parenting. In the fast-paced, instant gratification, over stimulating world we now live in with our children, I think responsible parenting is vitally important. Responsible parenting has and will always be vitally important.

Montessori

It is not hard to see how this topic applies to the Montessori community and the Montessori philosophy. Montessori parents, that is, people that choose a our schools for their children, are generally ahead of the curve, as far as parenting skills go. They want the best for their children and are usually, educated, involved, caring, and genuinely interested in doing the best job of parenting possible. They need our help and skill to support that effort.

The Montessori philosophy promotes raising and educating children to be full participants in life. They learn 'grace and manners' as part of the curriculum. We go beyond please and thank you; they learn to serve food to their friends, use words like 'excuse me' when wanting to ask a question, and the are able to stand still and wait to get attention and help from the teacher.

We are not trying to make the children 'obidient' as much as well adjusted human beings that can enjoy all aspects of life. Well behaved children get to do more and participate in more of what life has to offer. Adults and other children want to be around a child that has self control and an appreciation for what volume their voice needs to be in church compared to a playground. That is what we can accomplish in a caring and nurturing environment.

Giving Excuses

You may be wound too tight if you---

---need to give an excuse, when no thank you, will do--with out the "explanation".

Think about that for a minute. I often feel the need to "explain" myself when someone asks me to do something. My husband on the other hand is very good at saying "no thanks" without feeling bad, or making the person feel bad.

I need to learn to be better at saying, "yes, I'd love to", when I want to say yes and, "no, thank you", when I want to say no. I don't know if this is true, but a lot of my women friends have a much harder time with this than the men I know. We tend to be nurturing and like to give of ourselves, sometimes at the expense of what we want, and need, for ourselves. Or at least that is true for me.

I am actively trying to recognize times I am about to overcommit myself and re-think the decision. What comes naturally to my husband is a hard lesson for me to learn--but it is something I can and will work on. Overcommitting myself is really not fair to anyone. I end up being exhausted and unable to do the things that make life enjoyable for myself and my loved ones. So, I have some work to do. I think I am getting better--admitting and recognizing a problem is the first step in making a change. I am changing my thoughts in order to change my actions. This thinking alines with the Tao. A balanced life if what I want for myself.

Montessori

Giving excuses in my work is really not a good idea. When a teacher gives the children a lot of wordy explanations that come across as excuses it becomes a drag on the spirt of the classroom. Parent tire very quickly with what seems to be a teacher/school/administration that gives excuses. Making excuses is a very bad idea. If you find yourself doing it, examine what is causing this trend and take steps to stop, or at least curtail the behavior greatly.

Parents and children want us to be confident (but not cocky), clear (but not ridged), organized (but not OCD) and honest about what we can do. In other words, they want us to be balanced and believe in what we are doing so much that excuses and overly involved explanations will not be necessary.

Leave the Dishes For Morning

All dressed up in their Sunday Best!

You may be wound too tight if---

you stress out when there are dishes in the sink.

This one defiantly does not apply to me--sometimes I wish it did--at least some of the time.

I can go to bed with dishes in the sink. It does not bother my husband either, so that makes life livable for us. Don't get me wrong--we are not slobs, at least we don't think of ourselves that way. But we do not need everything in our house to be put away, right away.

I do like a neat house, and I get in the mood every couple of weeks, we both pitch in and get the house all ship shape. I do have 'company' standards. If we are having people over I get in the mood, of a sudden to have a neat house.

Our house is lived in and comfortable--not a showcase. I marvel at those couples and families that can pull off living in a very neat house all the time. I really wish I had less tolerance for mess. It would make those biweekly cleaning fits a lot easier--or even unnecessary. I admit, that would be nice, but for us I guess, it is just not worth the stress.

[Tolerance--don't you love that word? It has so many applications in our lives--that will have to be a future blog topic.]

I have had to 'forgive' myself for being this way--tolerant of mess, that is. What I mean by this, is that I would like to be more neat and organized, so I used to 'beat myself up' over it when I was younger. Luckily I live with a wonderful man that does not want or need to live in a 'castle', we agree on the amount of clutter that is acceptable. When a bill gets lost--we change our ways, straighten up more often and life is good. That has not happened in a long time--so I guess that is progress.

The message I want to pass on to my readers is this: Give yourself a break once in a while--leave the dishes in the sink for the morning if you are dead tired--they will definitely be there in the morning--unless your spouse decides to do them for you--that would be a win, win, situation, is what I say.

Montessori:

What should I say about mess tolerance in the Montessori environment? Well, we are taught to keep thing neat, organized, dust free, updated, beautiful, interesting, to have eye appeal...I could go on and on. All of that is really important and my classroom is always more organized and at least as clean as my own home. That is what the children and parents deserve.

But, we can make ourselves, and consequently, the children, crazy with this. I am not advocating dusty shelves, mixed up shelves, and general disorder. I am saying that we need to give ourselves and the children a break.

The children come to us with a wonderful sense of order (at least most of them) and we do need to foster that natural sense of order or they will loose it and have to learn it like most of us had to do. It is wonderful to complement that natural desire to put things in order. I marvel at the child that makes a bee line to the pink tower and straightens the tiny top cube for no other reason than to make it "look right'.

But, I do not agree with the teacher that tries to put order and avoiding messes over fun, and the child feeling 'at home' in the environment. As with everything, we need to strike a livable and nurturing balance in the classroom, and in life.

Contemplate Your Life

When life was simpler and all we needed for fun was an empty 50 gallon barrel!

Good morning Blog Readers

I am in a contemplative mood today. There will be a new feature on this Blog. It will be called:

YOU KNOW YOU ARE 'WOUND TOO TIGHT' IF

I admit to be 'wound too tight' on occasion.

I admit to getting upset over things that really do not matter much.

I want to improve myself so you get to come along for the ride.

Here is my effort to take the sage advice of my dear husband who

says, "NBD". In other words, "No Big Deal".

You can say that about a lot of things and be a lot happier person.

Here it goes--installment #1

YOU KNOW YOU ARE 'WOUND TOO TIGHT' IF--

you start to hyperventilate over the thought of not loosing a pound or two on the 4th week of your diet.

Really! How can we be so concerned about one or two pounds. Most of us have a few pounds [or more] extra weight. Really! Getting upset over going up or down by one or two pounds? What is the point? America spend a lot of time and money on weight loss books, diet foods, diet plans, diet concealing, exercise equipment, gym memberships--yet we are still loosing the battle of the bulge.

What did I weigh a year ago is a much better question than what did I weigh last week--right?

Yet I find myself waiting for my "weigh in day" with anxiety, trepidation, and/or longing, depending on how I "think" I have performed on my "diet" that week.

I, and I assume many others, need to take a "big picture" view of a lot of things--things like: healthy weight, physical health, mental health, and emotional health.

Montessori:

How does this apply to the classroom?

NBD--that is something every Montessori teacher, parent, staff member, and administrator should have in their working vocabulary. Most things that happen in the classroom are really, "no big deal". In a way the opposite is true too. Everything we do in the classroom is, "a big deal". what I mean to say is that if we are doing our jobs well it looks easy.

The classroom runs smoothly, lessons unfold naturally and with seemingly little effort by the teacher. Children solve their own problems instead of running to the teacher for every little thing. These are signs of a classroom that is "normalized".

If we adults have a NBD attitude about most things, the child will have a "can do" attitude about things. If everything they see us doing looks hard for us--they will think life is hard--we do not want that, do we?

Learn from Everyone and Everything

Teachers and a country school

in the 1940's .

A child that loves life in the 1940's--some things never changes!

I hope I will keep learning my whole life. I feel that people that think they "know it all" usually have a lot to learn. I have had the opportunity to substitute teach in a preschool the past few weeks. I have learned new things from the other teachers and staff, the children, the challenges and great features of the physical building as well as the inspirational CDs I listen to on the 35 minute commute.

Life is like that. I seem to experience this more and more as I grow as a person and a long time Montessorian. At seems the more we know, the more there is to know.

In this blog I want to address those times I see people miss the opportunity to learn. Miss the opportunity to understand one another. Miss the opportunity to help themselves and others grow, be happy, or just feel part of something.

The inspirational CDs I mentioned challenge me to make positive changes in my life. They are, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Mind, by Wayne Dyer. It is a commentary on the ancient teachings of an Asian philosopher, Lout Sue. He wrote the book of 81 verses on how to live a happy life called the Tao Te Ching. This famous book on living a God realized life is the inspiration for several of Dyer's books and CDs. In Change Your Thoughts he says we need to raise our thoughts to the level of how God thinks to be truly happy. I know that sounds a little 'heavy' or 'out-there', but I think it makes a lot of sense and it does not conflict with my own religious beliefs, in fact it dovetails very well with my own life long beliefs.

Now we can get back to the topic of this post. I see people very often miss great opportunities to learn from each other, lend support, or just be nice. Each one of these things are easy to do if you just open your mind to the possibility that ordinary people and experiences have something to teach us.

Learning happens in small and big was very often. Let me give you an example. When I substitute teach I get lots of opportunities to learn. I try very hard to help support the head teacher and step in to help without having to be told every little thing to do. Most of the time teachers accept the help and appreciate what I have to offer. On rare occasions a teacher or staff member will feel threatened by my experience and see my willingness to help as something else, like my trying to upstage her or as being critical of how she does things. When I feel that is happening I back off and let go of the situation. A person that feels that way does not want to learn, so, in my way of thinking, it is best to just back off.

If we can learn to learn from everyday, ordinary events just think of the number of learning opportunities we would have daily. This adjustment in attitude has helped me be a happier person. It changes my focus. Instead of thinking, "why is he doing that?" or, "what is she thinking?!", I try to glean a lesson from a frustrating situation. Give it a try; it makes life much more interesting and enjoyable.

Montessori

I have already mentions an example that can happen in the classroom so I would like the give another Montessori example.

In my 30 or so years of being a Montessorian I have been supported and I have learned from so many people. For the most part we are very good at being life long learners and we love to be supportive of each other. What I am about to talk about is not the rule--but the exception to the rule.

Like all people we "Montessori people" sometimes miss opportunities to learn from each other and especially to support each other. A big reason for this happening is that we are all busy with our own classrooms, administrative duties, billing parents, cleaning, and updating our classrooms, etc...to see the opportunity to share with each other. Often we are not aware of another teacher or school that needs our support. I hope we all take time to really look for opportunities to do just that.

I live in a city that is very fortunate to have many Montessori schools. For it's size Omaha has a lot of good Montessori environments that provide quality child care and education for children and an their families from the age of six weeks through sixth grade. We are very fortunate to have both public and private Montessori schools. Not many communities can boast these facts.

Many of the schools are well established, well organized and running smoothly because of committed administrators, parents, communities and children. Others are young schools that are just getting a foothold in the community. My hope is that the we look at each other less as competitors (which we are) and more like members of one Montessori Community. I do not have research to back this up, but it seems that there is room for all of the schools that I have visited (around 12 in the past year) to thrive in Omaha. I challenge all of my fellow Montessorians to reach out to a fellow teach, school, or administrator, and offer support and a sprit of sharing ideas to make us all stronger and therefore able to help more children learn to love learning. I feel that we can all help each child that is enrolled in a Montessori school in this city develop into the best person they can be. Isn't that why we became Montessorians in the first place? I sincerely hope that is the case.

change through love

Change Through Love

Send out love into the world and it comes back to you.

I have read that you attract into your life what you are.

I take this to mean that you attract positive or negative feelings by feeling them or giving them attention. You literally invite them into your life.

This puts a whole new meaning to, "be carful what you with for", doesn't it?

Well, I want to try doing this. It is not as simple as it seems. It is hard to not allow negative thoughts creep into your consciousness. I will begin by forcing out the negative thought as soon as I recognize that I am having one--maybe if I do that it will help me to eventually not have them.

Montessori

This is another easy one. Children need to feel safe to learn. What better way to make a child feel safe than being positive in thought action and words. There is really no room for anything else when working with children.

I believe that children believe what they hear. Therefore, I believe those of us who work with children must learn this.

Children believe what we say and what we show them. If fact, they believe what they see and experience even more than what we say. How we say something is often as important, or more important than what we say.

We need to smile more. It is hard to say negative things when we are smiling. Try it, it just feels awkward and not genuine. This works in our favor--if it is difficult we will find a better way.

Standing Tall

vs

Being Small

[THESE FLOWERS SEEM TO BE DOING BOTH]

Sometimes the first is required and sometimes the second is the most appropriate response to a situation. The hard part is knowing which one to do in which situation. This week I think I reversed them and made the mistake of standing tall when being small would have been the better choice. I am sorry and will try to correct myself this week.

I was offended by something someone said to me. The answer in that situation is almost always--BE SMALL. In my experience, people that say things offensive do not want to learn a lesson from the person they offended. In many cases they may not even know they are being offensive. I think people, given the chance, are kind most of the time. I was "small" but not nearly as "small" as I should have been.

It is not important to know who said what or what was said, the lesson can be learned in-spite of the details.

STANDING TALL when someone is offensive is the best response most of the time. It is not what the offensive person is expecting so it throughs them off their game.

I wish I would have thanked the person for their insightful comment--instead I just kind of ignored the comment and went about my business. She seemed to be upset the rest of the evening. I do not know her well enough to know what that means, but I feel really bad about this encounter. I feel that I missed a wonderful opportunity.

You see, hurtful things thrown outwardly usually means the person is hurting and needs kindness. I did not STAND really TALL and return hurtful words--but I was not nearly SMALL enough to take the opportunity to pass on love and understanding to a fellow human being that was tired, hurt or just cranky.

I only hope that I will get another opportunity to STNAD TALL or BE SMALL for her again this week. I look forward to the opportunity to do better the next time around.

MONTESSORI

STAND TALL vs BE SMALL

This one is almost too simple. The answer in the Montessori classroom is almost always "BE SMALL". Literally and figuratively. I love it when I go into a classroom and have a hard time finding the "teacher". I have never worked in an Infant or Toddler room--but it is hard for me to not STAND TALL in even a Primary classroom [ages 3 to 6 years old].

We adults are supposed to be a resource for the children. Our voice is supposed to be just loud enough to be heard--if you are paying attention--and even more quiet to get them to pay attention. One tiny chime of a bell is supposed to bring the children's joyful noise to silence.

BEING SMALL in a normalized Montessori classroom is a thing of beauty. The sound of a classroom that is literally humming along with children interacting with each other--without adult interference--is magical.

STANDING TALL is our goal for the child--not the adult. When the child learns to say, "no thank you, that hurts my feelings" all by her self--instead of running to the "teacher" and saying, "so-and-so hurt me"--that is when you know she is STANDING TALL all by herself. The more the children "needs" adults, the more work we have to do to help them realize they have so much power on their own.

I could go on and on, on this topic. I will stop and save a little for another time.

AFTERTHOUGHT

I love to learn from my readers--anyone out there have a comment? If not, just give me a positive thought--I hope you keep reading.

New Venture--Realizing a Dream

Embarking on a new venture can be scary, exciting, invigorating, enriching and evoke countless other feeling. These feelings can be both negative and positive, often at the same time. Realizing a Dream is such a wonderful feeling. Nothing ventured, nothing gained is so true. Investing in a new venture is an investment in yourself and your dreams. These can be as small as learning to quilt or play the piano for you own enjoyment to opening your own business.

taking on a project, learning new skills, and achieving personal growth is something that money can not buy.

Montessori

I am so excited because a dream of mine came true this week. About 5 years ago I met a wonderful woman with a wonderful job. She was traveling from San Francisco to Iowa to train teacher on how to make school more fun. She taught teachers and children how to learn more and be more productive through Music and Movement.

Soon after meeting this dynamic woman (in her 50's) I attended a workshop given by a popular children's song writer/musician with a Montessori background. These two event helped me formulate a plan.

I want to teach teacher how to use more music in the classroom. But first I want to be a Music Teacher in Montessori Schools. Well, as of Thursday, I am a Music teacher in my first Montessori School. I am so excited to start customizing my curriculum for this dynamic school. The Head of School hired me after a short interview. She has great energy and turly loves her job. I am so ready to begin collaborating with her to bring my music to her students and teachers.